I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
