she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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