she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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