New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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