you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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