You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
