Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
