Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i think i just lost a toe
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
