I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
