i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
