grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
