He kissed a someone with a penis
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
