from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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