I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
