she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
