does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i need some magic done to my vagina
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
