Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
