thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
