His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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