mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
