Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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