I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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