just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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