glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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