dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
