I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
