Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize