We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
