i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
