remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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