Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
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Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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