Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
