Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
