I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
