Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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