he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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