I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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