doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
