You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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