Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
