nut hugger
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
