Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
