She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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