That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
