awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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