Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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