dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
