come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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