I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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