It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
