So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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