I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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