I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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