You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
