He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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