i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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