I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
