I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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