Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
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